October 2011 - Being alone still together*

And now here, speaking this writing, recalling that memory, those memories (colluding and colliding) of the experience of the event-hood, the experiences of the making of the Dream-Work Walks, alongside but outside of the space-time of the actual experience of it. (Breathe).

Being here now.

Taking Heidegger’s definition of an artwork as a ‘preserving outstanding standing within.’[1] Both and………..I wonder what does this being alone still together feel like from my makers/choreographers/writers POV and when does this ‘preserving outstanding standing within’ occur within the Dream-Work Walks ?

I find it most clearly, feel it most profoundly when we are being alone still together, dwelling in this and those quiet, contemplative space-time(s) of stillness.

These still movers (movers still) you and me.

The one and the other amongst and alongside these other-others (not-oneself, inter-acting, playing our parts). Who am I within this stillness? Not my-self, part-other, an un-whole-other, any-other, now gone and back again.

I wonder how present I can be alongside this your apparent/appearing presence – in this stillness. Still distracted by the other-others who walk on by, pretending not to notice when we are spilling out so publically……

Can we be still for long enough to feel we know in some way(s) this shared still-ing, this still-dance? Some time for stillness filled with and by and alongside you. This stilling ultimately a very individual process now temporally shared through my individual sense of being alone together with you ‘preserving outstanding standing within?’

This place is too vast, too intricate – impossible to have and to hold – so we must listen to a part of it………to find the patterns (and chose to work with them or not). Take notice of the detail, the overlooked.

We bring our ‘theatrical’ sensibilities but we are not the regular users of these places and do not pretend to be such. We are always outside even when we dwell within.

And then turning (away or beyond the performer and you) to the view, the solid, still awe and wonder of this land (J S Mill). 

My body stilling again, daring now not to move amongst this vastness. The view is too big.  Those big open spaces, opening out and offering up a time for contemplation.

Facing the view, into the void with all the possibilities of the future and the heavy presence(s) of the past.

Not yet a quietening of the mind – but perhaps/certainly a focusing – a foregrounding.

My mind can’t yet be still – sorry – always moving from one thought or sensation to the next – I can sense more now! 

And now we stop. The one and the other, amongst the other others – still-moving.

Your quietening – in relation to my quietening.

Face to face in the event-hood of it all.

In this fiction, through this moving fourth wall, face-face in potential.

The one encountering the other (as if again for the first time).

We are held here together – as part of this particular and peculiar etiquette of performance – this consensuality.

Arriving at this dwelling point, here and now.

Making a clearing – within which to dwell.

(Now my eyes are shut tight)

Allowing so many ways of knowing to come to the surface.

My being here, our being alone, still together.

Then once again back to this act of standing alone alongside – speaking these words (re-presented); only when I sit still can I write, I cannot write unless I am still and my mind is focused – cleared of other things (the everyday) as much as possible.

*A few notes from my half of a performance/lecture given as part of the Animation of Public Space through the Arts: Innovation and Sustainability’ symposium from the 28^th- 30^th of September 2011.  Our participation was financially supported by the Making Artistic Inquiry Visible project hosted at Thompson Rivers University and supported by the SSHRC.

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[1] Heidegger 1978 [1927-64]) ‘The Origin of the Work of Art’ in Basic Writings, ed. David Farrell Krell, London: Routledge: 192.